When you realise you’re not the only one being different…

Once upon a time, there was a desire to blend in, to belong. There was an equal idea that no one should know I felt so different. It could be dangerous to be found out.

It was so exhausting to try to understand other people, and try to behave and talk the way they seem to expect me to.

There was pain, bitterness, resentment.

Then there was learning, growing, admitting I’d always be different.

Bitter-sweet acceptance.

Enter my first unraveling, discovering I’m autistic.

This explained so much of my life. It took me a while to accept it (If you are neurodiverse, you may have felt the same steps, going from shock, denial, anger, shame, relief to finally owning it.)

I truly hope you do own it, if not now soon. it’s not easy, the world is made by and for Neurotypical people.

I met amazing people online, helping me massively to own my neurodiversity and speaking of it more openly, including G Sabini-Roberts and Sara Kedge and their community of How2Entrepreuneuro.

G just made their first Ted Talk, I highly recommend watching it here: Why Being Neurodiverse Can Make you a Brilliant Entrepreneur.

I learned I was autistic when I was 40years old during a summer that was already challenging. Like many other women who learned quite late because we are so good at observing and masking our quirks.

Then, I discovered Human Design.

Second Unraveling and blessing of understanding another big part of my being different.

Finding the HD community, a few beautiful guides who helped me understand why I was moving in the world the way I was…

Sometimes, I regret not learning this as a child, then I remember how much I love being able to lean on 4 decades of the theory proving itself.

If you don’t know Human Design and wonder what I am going on about, imagine the love child of Astrology and Quantum Physics. It is actually build upon the I’Ching, The Kabbalah, Astrology and the Chakras. and Neutrinos are involved, hence the Quantum Physics metaphor.

It sounds totally odd, but the mechanics keep proving themselves, and not because people believe it, I’ve seen the mechanics applied to people who don’t know about HD.

The more I experiment and test things out, the more I laugh at how accurate it is. Freakily accurate.

If you want to learn more about Human Design or make your chart, you can go to mybodygraph.com

The struggle and what’s next.

There’s been struggle. There’s still struggle. Not all melt when you bring awareness to it, but the struggle was not in vain.

I needed this to be the person I am today, as we laugh with friends, flawsome and taking one day at a time.

I heard once “be the bridge” in my head… and I am still not sure what that is about. I know I’m all about facilitating connections, that is for sure.

My vision & my compass are always tuned to empathy and fairness, advocating for people’s rights to live their life & love safely, to feel & be included.

How? using tech and empathy, we can create paths and possibilities, to leverage energy and attention for what matters. We can make life a bit more easy to live for everyone.

When people thrive and love themselves hard enough, beautiful things happen. When you accept yourself as you are, you accept more easily the Other as they are.

I have ideas, and I have been invited to document them in some ways.

Freaky or weird are 2 adjectives that comes to qualify my ideas at times.

I used to keep them for myself, but as I am asking for people to own their weird as Jason Zoosk would say, it’s time I do the same. People’s encouragements to experiment with this helped me take the leap.

I was tempted to put these wild insights on my blog, on pascalepoppins, my professional website, but I am not sure where these articles will take me and I wanted their own container for that.

If you like challenging what you see, read about things from a slightly different angle, love tech and Humanity… there’s plenty coming up for you around here.

Welcome to this writing experiment where I will let my 43/23 run free, like a journal of what’s going on in my mind, without any expectation. (43/23 is the only channel I have defined as a Mental Projector.)

Do you want to share your own unraveling below? Do you own your weird?

Thank you for reading.